Observations I have made:
My teacher smells like cigarettes and coffee.
Winter is for lovers.
I feel like writing a poem.
Or maybe painting.
I came home this weekend for a visit. Leah's birthday was Tuesday so I thought we could celebrate a little later. Tomorrow we are having a "Dude Day" which may sound like a couple of guys hanging out but it actually translates to a "Leah-Sarah Day." Somehow we acquired this nickname and it has stuck ever since!
Packing a bag to take to my house was a new experience. I did it the first time I came home but this time I really thought about what I was doing. Do I really need to take shampoo and conditioner to my house? My toothbrush? No. It should be right next to the sink where it always is, right next to the toothpaste that never has the cap on.
Once I got here I realized College Park was still the same. The people are still the same. But I'm not. I've been trying to "soak it all up," to really experience home. How can that be done? I feel like there is some strange thing I should be doing that I somehow can't figure out. Like, somehow I am missing a necessary task that makes my trip home complete. Is it possible to feel at home when you only visit for 3 days? I'm not sure. I'll let you know. So far, I'm leaning towards a no.
I think this is just how God works. He closes doors and opens others. Right now He closed my door to College Park. Not entirely, I'm still connected with the people, I love them so much! But He has called me to Tallahassee and I think it's best to follow His voice. I was really struggling with that this past week. I did a lot of thinking. That's where the trouble started. I thought about how nice it would be to be in College Park. I thought about Park Avenue in Christmas time and all of the kindergarten and first graders at the Community Center. I thought about jogging around the neighborhood and snuggling with Shelbs every night.
Luckily, God stepped in and directed me to FUEL last night where He reminded me of His role in my life. He directs me. I don't have to do the thinking. He's got that under control.
I guess my life right now is an endless process.
A process of seeking God and getting comfortable with being uncomfortable.
And thanking Him for the smiles along the way.
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4 comments:
Just so you know, Home is ALWAYS Home! Oh, yeah, and that other saying, Home is where the heart is! I love you very much and am very proud of the young woman you have come. Your faith in and devotion to God is inspiring! I'm so glad you got to come "Home" this weekend.
You know, I always felt the very same way. Here's the conclusion that I came too: Home will always be that- a very special place where you will always be welcomed, always feel comfortable and always know is there to fall into, to run to and to feel secure in... but God does give us new homes, places to learn to trust Him more, to grow and get out of our comfort zones, to learn to become the women He created us to be. Sometimes, it takes leaving the secure and the familiar to find that- it takes stepping out in faith to find peace and our place. I am praying for you along this journey, because you are right- it's an endless process, but the great thing is- He's always with us along the way and the road no matter how twisted it may get sometimes, ALWAYS leads us back to Him! Love you girl!
Sarah-bearah...beautiful, awesome,
wonderful girl! How proud I am of you and who you are becoming, all
through a loving Christ. I have no
doubt that you will find your true
"Home." I think we carry it with us whereever we go. It stays witin our heart! It will change through the years, but will still remain the same. Do you know how much I love you? How much your PaPa loves you? though he is not her physically (I wonder?) he sees through GOD's eyes, the wonderful family he left behind, and is so happy we are all one. Keep up the good work and keep your eyes and heart on Christ! Love to you, Granx
Sarah,
I think it's all the process of growing up, you want everything to stay the same but know in your heart it will always be changing (life) Keep your eyes and Heart on God and your dreams and life will be awesome... we love you soooo much. Of course how can I end without saying "Bill Girl"" and go NOLES
Love you
Aunt Dee
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